Jon's Big Brown Log

[Todd Eats Shit]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moron_(psychology)

[Jon]

hot damn.

it is always a sincere honor to meet someone whose life is also as equally as meaningless as a pile of crusty shit.

[Todd Eats Shit]

keep going! i'll let you fight the windmills like don quixote!

[Jon]

keep going!

[Ally]

no you guys can stop.

[David]

Ha, great to hear you liked your second Almodovar! Looking forward to hear what you think about the other ones.

[Jon]

Christmas in July (1940, Preston Sturges)



Abbath stands by idly enjoying Sturges' fantastic knack for dialogue and general screwball genius


The Pervert's Guide to Cinema (2006, Sophie Fiennes)



Abbath says Freud is dead, so watch the fuck out you Lewis Black with a beard looking silly nilly. Abbath is bored by pointing out the obvious with gross amounts of non-grim winds of hot air.

[Ally]

I've been meaning to see Christmas in July. Maybe I'll save it for July.

[drone]

[Jon]

fuck numbers, Abbath is where the true grim frostbitten ratings are.

[Jon]

Der Himmel über Berlin (Wings of Desire) (1987, Wim Wenders)

It's no City of Angels.


Memento (2000, Christopher Nolan)

Hadn't seen this in a couple of years, and it's still Nolan's only truly top notch film. I kept thinking if the film would have been as good if told without the gimmick, and I'm not sure it would. It'd just be a straight forward neo-noir, but the backwards shit makes it a tad more intriguing and helps the audience get the feeling that they're like the dude who made up another dude to make up for the fact that he killed his wife.


Troll (1986, John Carl Buechler)

Harry Potter JR. has to fuck shit up big time or else Italians are going to take over his apartment or something. Yeah.


Troll 2 (1990, Claudio Fragasso)

Probably the most surreal pile of shit to ever be a masterpiece. Let's take a bunch of midgets, head over to Bartz for some masks, empty some potato sacks and hire the worst fucking retards for actors anyone would ever be able to find and let's churn out this breathtaking masterpiece....DOUBLE DECKER BOLOGNA SANDWICH?!


A Serious Man (2009, Joel & Ethan Coen)

I may never be a serious man, but I'm a rational and logical man, so the people who are reading into the fact that his giving Ki-Duk Kim a C - for a grade caused his phone call and the death of his son in the tornado that he brought on by his actions just seem silly. Life is absurd, random and nothing is connected. One of their best.


The Bad News Bears (1976, Michael Ritchie)

So, the dude from Little Children who cuts off his dick joins a bunch of shitty little kid ball players to lose the big game, but winning isn't important, underage Tatum O'Neil, while I have my hand on my crotch, is what is important.

=


Serial Killing 101 (2004, Trace Slobotkin)

Hey a piece of shit, big surprise; this is the problem with having 20 something friends who are still mentally stuck in middle school.


Role Models (2008, David Wain)

God, she is so hot.

Sassy negro boy
+
dorky WOW kid with glasses
+
Paul Rudd
+
that American Pie guy
____________________
pretty funny

....says who? Fellini?

[wet snake jackson]

almost olof-class on these reviews!

[Jon]

almost olof-class on these reviews!

[Jos]

The Bad News Bears (1976, Michael Ritchie)

underage Tatum O'Neil, while I have my hand on my crotch, is what is important.

Why does nobody ever tell me what I need to know if I think about watching something..

[Simon M.]

the Memento dvd has a feature where you can watch the movie "in order." In that form it's a decent story at least, but anything but remarkable.

[Ally]

[HHH]

Indeed it is a DOUBLE DECKER BOLOGNA SANDWICH

[Jon]

Valerie and Her Week of Wonders (1970, Jaromil Jires)

Apparently the Czech concept of wonders is to lull me into an almost comatose state. The editing is the worst part about the film, nearing total hideousness, and there is absolutely no atmosphere which is a must if you're going to make a surreal fantasy film. "Boldly in the path of Bergman, Fellini and Bunuel" it says on the cover; seriously? Not even close, this is more of an example of sour influence, you KNOW the influences but they're displayed with such ineptitude that it made me cringe. Oh well, at least her underage boobs were nice.

[dustin]

ATMOSPHERE!

[Doormouse]

Valerie and Her Week of Wonders (1970, Jaromil Jires)

Apparently the Czech concept of wonders is to lull me into an almost comatose state. The editing is the worst part about the film, nearing total hideousness, and there is absolutely no atmosphere which is a must if you're going to make a surreal fantasy film. "Boldly in the path of Bergman, Fellini and Bunuel" it says on the cover; seriously? Not even close, this is more of an example of sour influence, you KNOW the influences but they're displayed with such ineptitude that it made me cringe. Oh well, at least her underage boobs were nice.

I wasnt that thrilled the first time I saw this either, but I kinda grew on me. There are better surreal fantasy films. I think the "Bergman, Fellini, Bunuel" on the cover would be misleading, because none of them come to mind, when considering the film's style. It's good for what it is, but I could see how allot of people wouldn't like it.

[Jon]

ATMOSPHERE!

ATMOSPHERE!

[Will]

[Jon]

West Side Story


No.

Zodiac


Donnie Darko & Iron Man try to prove that Norm from Fargo is a serial killer. Fincher's best film.

My Darling Clementine


Ford's westerns are why whenever someone tells me that a Leone film is the best western ever I just want to fucking end their life. That music-less gun battle at the end was complete genius.

The Sword in the Stone


So, wait, in a land called Londontown the main character has an American accent? Fuck you Walt.

[InHuman]

West Side Story
No.

I concur.

Zodiac
Fincher's best film.

Bullshit.

My Darling Clementine
Ford's westerns are why whenever someone tells me that a Leone film is the best western ever I just want to fucking end their life.

[Jon]

well, it ain't fight club.